One Year

It was one year ago today that I lost my mom. When I first woke up this morning my mother was on my mind...then I remembered where I was one year ago today. I was sitting next to her bed, my head laying on her stroking her arm and holding her hand as she struggled for her next breath. With each pause of her breath I would jolt my head up and look at her, hoping she would breathe again, yet wanting her to be at peace. Then came a pause....she was at peace.

The selfish side of me wants her here so badly. I miss her every day, and I wish she was here to share in my creative interests. She is the one that got me interested in working with my hands. She started me sewing at a very young age. I can remember making Barbie doll clothes. Then she bought me a toy sewing machine for Christmas one year, but it never worked very well...I continued to just use her machine. Then as I got older I tried my hands at many crafts - macrame, tole painting, oil painting, fabric painting, wreath making, crocheting, knitting, ceramics, quilting, jewelry making...you name it, I tried it. My mother used to sit and watch me as I created. Sometimes she would join in, sometimes she would accompany me to classes, and other times just watch. One time she even came with me when I had a booth at a craft fair...she just sat there and kept me company. Then the last few years I have found the art of papercrafting. I made my mother many cards...decorated a tin for her to store them all in. She loved it very much - she loved sending out cards, and she was my biggest fan. She thought everything I did was magnificent - just as I do when my children make something. Thanks mom for introducing me to so many crafts and developing my love for creativity.

I also miss having my mom to shop with. We used to get up and be at the mall before the stores opened. We would shop, have lunch, shop, eat supper, and then shop until the mall closed. We had such a great time doing that. We could look at everything in every store and come home with not one thing!

So here I am today on a dreary, rainy day, missing my best friend...my beloved mother....

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