Friday, August 10, 2007

My mom

Wednesday I received by freight my mother's belongings. As you probably know by reading below, my mother passed away March 4 this year. While staying there with my dad for a while, my sisters and I went through mom's things, and we each put aside the items that mom wanted us to have and the rest we just divided up amongst us. I packed all of my items in boxes and stored them in my old bedroom.

Since that time my dad has sold the house, so I needed to get all my items out of the house, including the rocking chair/recliner that mom always sat in. We had it shipped by freight, and it arrived.

As I unpacked the items, there were so many memories that came over me, and the longing I had for my mom. I so much wish that she were here and had all these things still in her home! I just miss her so very much. I now have in my possession such things as some of her old coats (which still have some of her kleenex in the pocket, which I can't throw away), her Holy Bible, some of the items I gave her...which to my surprise all had roses associated with them in one way or the other (roses were my mother's favorite flower), a chicken tiffany lamp, a large macrame table I made her when I was in college, and most importantly a ginormous salt and pepper collection. None of it probably amounts to a lot of money...but to me it is worth more than a billion dollars. There isn't enough money in this world to make me part with these items.

Wednesday night, and each one after, I have spent time rocking in mom's chair...thinking of her. I have prayed so many times for my mom to come to me and hug me in a dream, since I didn't get to feel her arms around me before she went home to her maker. I am still waiting for that to happen, but I did dream about her Wednesday night, after so many of her belongings arrived here. In my dream she was walking around and seemed so happy...and she had come home from the hospital and was all better. She told me something to the effect that she was doing great now, or feeling all better....something like that.

I talked to my dearest friend about all this, and she informed me that I had been blessed by my mom actually visiting me. That she was telling me that she is okay and happy. It brought tears to my eyes. Today it gives me a bigger peace of mind. As much as I miss her, I am happy that she is happy and okay. Now I just wait for that hug to come one day...I have faith that it will one day...when she and God are ready, and probably when I most need it.

I love you mom, and I will cherish all that you left me, but most of all I cherish what you left in my heart.

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